I'm a grown-up!

There's so much to catch up on and I've been thinking about updating my blog for awhile now, but it wasn't until today when a friend said something about it that really made me sit down and start writing (thanks Amy). You might be confused by my title seeing as how I seem to be stating the obvious, but it wasn't until recently when I've realized that I'm now officially a grown-up! Maybe I now consider myself one because I've graduated college, or maybe because I have a grown-up job, where I have to work 40 hours or week (sad, right?!) Well, seeing as how I haven't updated in a while, maybe its time I fill you in on what's been happening recently and how the Lord's been working in my life. I graduated May 1st from FSU PC with a degree in Professional Communication and two weeks prior to that got a big girl job! I am now an Associate Analyst at a local defense contracting company and although I wanted to cry almost everyday for the first 4 or so weeks (who knew there could be so many acronyms!!), I can now say I LOVE my job! I also have been chosen as my company's representative to apply for Leadership Bay (I'll find out if I got accepted in a few weeks) and would love the opportunity to participate in this community wide program. I have received blessing after blesssing and know that it all only comes from the Lord. In addition to these blessings, the Lord's really been moving in me and teaching me patience (still), and most importantly to use every opportunity to serve him, whether its at work, with friends, or at church. I know that God's work is never done in me, and I am always wanting to improve myself...even though I know no matter what I do, it will never be good enough (thank God for grace and mercy...literally), I strive to better myself and serve him with every opportunity so that one day I can hear the words "well done, my GOOD and FAITHFUL servant." I'm hoping to update this more often and who knows...maybe through some cooking catastrophe stories of mine in there every once in awhile..just to provide you all with a good laugh!

It's been way too long!

It has been way too long since my last entry so I will try to keep this short and then post some more in the next few days. Things have been crazy lately, between taking 5 classes, working, small group, interning, and everything in between. Since my last post I am now a year older, (I know you can tell by how mature my writing is this time...yeah, right! :) went on a surprise trip with Jared to Atlanta, am more than half way through my LAST semester of college, have started a small group with Jared, AND have gotten a new job (that I start in a week)! Whew...that's a LOT! Birthday was wonderful, the trip to Atlanta was adventurous (J surprised me by taking me zip-lining...and I'm deathly afraid of heights, but it was a blast) and we also went to the World of Coke, over-ate and just enjoyed not having to worry about school! I can't believe I'm 4 weeks out from graduating! I've been talking with numerous people about this lately...about having the feeling of accomplishment but at the same time having the feeling of "oh my goodness, now what?!" But God (like always) has been my strength and has shown me not to trust in myself but HIM (and I'm so glad that I do)...I'm so glad that he's in charge of everything in my life because it makes enjoying my life that much better! Work is wonderful and I LOVE the people I work with, but come May our job will end for the summer so I thought since I was graduating I should start looking for a "big girl" job and once again, God gave me the perfect job! I will be working for a local defense contracting company and am so excited!! Because we are in the season of Lent our church asked that everyone either join a small group, create one or continue in the one you're currently in during this period...so Jared and I decided to start one for people ages 20-30 and what a blessing it has been! I have thoroughly enjoyed worrying about if we're going to have enough food on a Wed. night, inviting new people to come and just getting to know people and dig into the word even more! I can't say anything else but God is good...all the time and I know that I need to let go of worrying, have faith and that God is going to take care of me because I am his and he is mine! What could be better?!

Getting Uncomfortable...

Well, it's been a week or so since my last post and in this time some amazing things have happened...specifically with my relationship with Christ. I know this might come as a shock, but I've never been a patient person...about anything. I like being in a comfortable routine, and live a comfortable lifestyle (one free from conflict, change, etc)and in these last few weeks I've had to get uncomfortable...real uncomfortable. Without going into too many details, these past few weeks have just really been a trial period and a state of being simply uncomfortable. During these past few weeks I've had to rely so much on God and really seek him for some answers and direction and it wasn't until tonight that I was hit with this whole concept of being uncomfortable. Let me just say that when I normally pray at night, I'm sitting up in my bed, under my nice, cozy blankets, with my worship music on in the background and I usually try to get as comfortable as possible before I start my prayer but tonight while I was praying I felt God drawing me to my knees on the side of my bed and while I was praying, I started getting very uncomfortable, my knees and legs were hurting, and I was cold being on the floor and not having a blanket on top of me and as much as I wanted to jump back in bed and get under my blankets, I felt God telling me I needed to stay on the floor and just be....uncomfortable. Before praying I was reading Psalm 26: 1-2 specifically that says, " I have trusted in the Lord without wavering. Test me, O Lord and try me, examine my heart and my mind..." and it hit me...I have not been fully trusting of the Lord...I have held onto the things that I want and that I consider "comfortable" and that right now, God has me in a complete and utter state of being completely uncomfortable. For whatever reason, the words "without wavering" really hit me and a week or so ago a friend told me this saying that I haven't been able to get out of my mind. She said, sometimes we try to remain the same and be so comfortable but that sometimes it takes more pain staying the same than it does to change," and for me, that was huge...I stay the same and in my comfortable state because it won't cause as much pain, trouble or uncomfortableness (not sure that's even a word) but I just realized that for once, I need to be in this state of being uncomfortable and how we often times say when in a crisis or low point "God...test me and know my anxious heart," but its never until we're already placed in that situation...we never say when we're having a good day, "Lord, test me...right now...test me and my faith." So...maybe it's time we all get uncomfortable and really examine how we are going to change things so that we are fully reliant upon Christ!

LOVE

So...just by the title, what do you think this post is going to be about?! You guessed it!...LOVE! One of the most popular scriptures that comes to mind when thinking about LOVE is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 where it says,

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Every time I read this scripture I automatically think about how I can apply that to my relationship with the ones I love most in life...especially when a significant other is involved, but it wasn't until this past Wednesday that I found a whole new meaning behind it. I TRY to exercise regularly and one of the places I love to do this, is at a nearby bridge. I LOVE to walk on this old bridge, especially toward the end of the day, when the sun is about to set and everything looks and feels calm.

While walking the other day, I was thinking about this scripture and it dawned on me...I've never (just being honest) thought about this scripture as it relates to God. And my prayer suddenly became, "God...if I love you like I say I do...help me to be patient with you, God...if I love you like I say I do, help me not to be self-seeking about the things I'm concerned with in my life...God, if I love you like I say I do, help me to always trust in you and that ultimately if I love you like I say I do, I know that YOUR love will always protect me and will always persevere...even when I feel like times tend to be rough and there's no answers in sight! So thank you God, thank you for your unfailing LOVE!" It never fails that no matter how many times you read God's word, you get something different out of it EVERY TIME!...Isn't God and his word amazing?!? And to be honest, I don't know if I'll ever think of this scripture in any other way than pertaining solely to God!