It's been way too long!

It has been way too long since my last entry so I will try to keep this short and then post some more in the next few days. Things have been crazy lately, between taking 5 classes, working, small group, interning, and everything in between. Since my last post I am now a year older, (I know you can tell by how mature my writing is this time...yeah, right! :) went on a surprise trip with Jared to Atlanta, am more than half way through my LAST semester of college, have started a small group with Jared, AND have gotten a new job (that I start in a week)! Whew...that's a LOT! Birthday was wonderful, the trip to Atlanta was adventurous (J surprised me by taking me zip-lining...and I'm deathly afraid of heights, but it was a blast) and we also went to the World of Coke, over-ate and just enjoyed not having to worry about school! I can't believe I'm 4 weeks out from graduating! I've been talking with numerous people about this lately...about having the feeling of accomplishment but at the same time having the feeling of "oh my goodness, now what?!" But God (like always) has been my strength and has shown me not to trust in myself but HIM (and I'm so glad that I do)...I'm so glad that he's in charge of everything in my life because it makes enjoying my life that much better! Work is wonderful and I LOVE the people I work with, but come May our job will end for the summer so I thought since I was graduating I should start looking for a "big girl" job and once again, God gave me the perfect job! I will be working for a local defense contracting company and am so excited!! Because we are in the season of Lent our church asked that everyone either join a small group, create one or continue in the one you're currently in during this period...so Jared and I decided to start one for people ages 20-30 and what a blessing it has been! I have thoroughly enjoyed worrying about if we're going to have enough food on a Wed. night, inviting new people to come and just getting to know people and dig into the word even more! I can't say anything else but God is good...all the time and I know that I need to let go of worrying, have faith and that God is going to take care of me because I am his and he is mine! What could be better?!

Getting Uncomfortable...

Well, it's been a week or so since my last post and in this time some amazing things have happened...specifically with my relationship with Christ. I know this might come as a shock, but I've never been a patient person...about anything. I like being in a comfortable routine, and live a comfortable lifestyle (one free from conflict, change, etc)and in these last few weeks I've had to get uncomfortable...real uncomfortable. Without going into too many details, these past few weeks have just really been a trial period and a state of being simply uncomfortable. During these past few weeks I've had to rely so much on God and really seek him for some answers and direction and it wasn't until tonight that I was hit with this whole concept of being uncomfortable. Let me just say that when I normally pray at night, I'm sitting up in my bed, under my nice, cozy blankets, with my worship music on in the background and I usually try to get as comfortable as possible before I start my prayer but tonight while I was praying I felt God drawing me to my knees on the side of my bed and while I was praying, I started getting very uncomfortable, my knees and legs were hurting, and I was cold being on the floor and not having a blanket on top of me and as much as I wanted to jump back in bed and get under my blankets, I felt God telling me I needed to stay on the floor and just be....uncomfortable. Before praying I was reading Psalm 26: 1-2 specifically that says, " I have trusted in the Lord without wavering. Test me, O Lord and try me, examine my heart and my mind..." and it hit me...I have not been fully trusting of the Lord...I have held onto the things that I want and that I consider "comfortable" and that right now, God has me in a complete and utter state of being completely uncomfortable. For whatever reason, the words "without wavering" really hit me and a week or so ago a friend told me this saying that I haven't been able to get out of my mind. She said, sometimes we try to remain the same and be so comfortable but that sometimes it takes more pain staying the same than it does to change," and for me, that was huge...I stay the same and in my comfortable state because it won't cause as much pain, trouble or uncomfortableness (not sure that's even a word) but I just realized that for once, I need to be in this state of being uncomfortable and how we often times say when in a crisis or low point "God...test me and know my anxious heart," but its never until we're already placed in that situation...we never say when we're having a good day, "Lord, test me...right now...test me and my faith." So...maybe it's time we all get uncomfortable and really examine how we are going to change things so that we are fully reliant upon Christ!

LOVE

So...just by the title, what do you think this post is going to be about?! You guessed it!...LOVE! One of the most popular scriptures that comes to mind when thinking about LOVE is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 where it says,

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Every time I read this scripture I automatically think about how I can apply that to my relationship with the ones I love most in life...especially when a significant other is involved, but it wasn't until this past Wednesday that I found a whole new meaning behind it. I TRY to exercise regularly and one of the places I love to do this, is at a nearby bridge. I LOVE to walk on this old bridge, especially toward the end of the day, when the sun is about to set and everything looks and feels calm.

While walking the other day, I was thinking about this scripture and it dawned on me...I've never (just being honest) thought about this scripture as it relates to God. And my prayer suddenly became, "God...if I love you like I say I do...help me to be patient with you, God...if I love you like I say I do, help me not to be self-seeking about the things I'm concerned with in my life...God, if I love you like I say I do, help me to always trust in you and that ultimately if I love you like I say I do, I know that YOUR love will always protect me and will always persevere...even when I feel like times tend to be rough and there's no answers in sight! So thank you God, thank you for your unfailing LOVE!" It never fails that no matter how many times you read God's word, you get something different out of it EVERY TIME!...Isn't God and his word amazing?!? And to be honest, I don't know if I'll ever think of this scripture in any other way than pertaining solely to God!

A different perspective...

Well, first off...it's been wayyy too long since my last post (I guess nothing exciting has really happened to me lately). As you may know, this week I'm up in Michigan with my dad and stepmom visiting for a few days before heading over to Chicago to see one of my best friends. My dad built a house up here in Jerome, MI about 2 years ago and since my first visit this past summer, I've been wanting to come again. It's funny though...I want to come to relax and just get away from everything and although I love spending time with my dad and stepmom I get a kick out of their reaction and behavior when I tell them that I want to come up (and even once I get here). My stepmom is always wanting to find new, fun things to do in Michigan when I come and my dad wants to do stuff...he just doesn't know what. He's like a little kid on Christmas morning...waiting for me to wake up and come out of my bedroom so we can "play" (whatever that means :) Anyways, I know they just want to show me the best of Michigan and really enjoy myself but its always funny how excited they get with me just coming up here. Yesterday we went 4-wheeling through the property and as we were getting stuck in all the brush, I just kept laughing to myself. Here we are, my dad is wanting to have a fun 4-wheeling experience and is getting a little confused/frustrated because the path wasn't cleared in advance for us, and all I can do is relate it to what its like when you first become a christian or when you know someone that has just become a Christian. You get so hungry for the Lord and just want to know more about him...you're energized all the time and just like my dad waits expectantly for me to wake up, we can't wait to share Christ with others...we want others to be just as excited about Christ as we are. We want the path to be cleared in advance for them so they can see how much fun it is! However, sometimes that excitement fades (just like it does for my dad once I've been here a few days or when I get too sleepy/grumpy to want to do anything). So why is that? As we've been driving around these past few days and I've been looking at all the beautiful snowy hills, I just keep asking God to revive me and fill me with that excitement for him that I once had! I know people that have lived in the north with all the frigid winters and all the snow get tired of it real quick and think it's no big deal when we act like a bunch of freaks as soon as we see snow, but sometimes its like that for us as Christians...we get used to our life...we become content, yet the bible clearly says "how long will you simple ones love your simple ways?" So...I'e been asking God to help make me discontent with being content...revive me, change me, help me to yearn for him...to be excited about/for him again and to be to others about him, just like my dad gets when he knows I'm coming to Michigan! God, in this time here...revive me, change me, and help me from this point on to get excited about you, your works and the path ahead of me!