Well, it's been a week or so since my last post and in this time some amazing things have happened...specifically with my relationship with Christ. I know this might come as a shock, but I've never been a patient person...about anything. I like being in a comfortable routine, and live a comfortable lifestyle (one free from conflict, change, etc)and in these last few weeks I've had to get uncomfortable...real uncomfortable. Without going into too many details, these past few weeks have just really been a trial period and a state of being simply uncomfortable. During these past few weeks I've had to rely so much on God and really seek him for some answers and direction and it wasn't until tonight that I was hit with this whole concept of being uncomfortable. Let me just say that when I normally pray at night, I'm sitting up in my bed, under my nice, cozy blankets, with my worship music on in the background and I usually try to get as comfortable as possible before I start my prayer but tonight while I was praying I felt God drawing me to my knees on the side of my bed and while I was praying, I started getting very uncomfortable, my knees and legs were hurting, and I was cold being on the floor and not having a blanket on top of me and as much as I wanted to jump back in bed and get under my blankets, I felt God telling me I needed to stay on the floor and just be....uncomfortable. Before praying I was reading Psalm 26: 1-2 specifically that says, " I have trusted in the Lord without wavering. Test me, O Lord and try me, examine my heart and my mind..." and it hit me...I have not been fully trusting of the Lord...I have held onto the things that I want and that I consider "comfortable" and that right now, God has me in a complete and utter state of being completely uncomfortable. For whatever reason, the words "without wavering" really hit me and a week or so ago a friend told me this saying that I haven't been able to get out of my mind. She said, sometimes we try to remain the same and be so comfortable but that sometimes it takes more pain staying the same than it does to change," and for me, that was huge...I stay the same and in my comfortable state because it won't cause as much pain, trouble or uncomfortableness (not sure that's even a word) but I just realized that for once, I need to be in this state of being uncomfortable and how we often times say when in a crisis or low point "God...test me and know my anxious heart," but its never until we're already placed in that situation...we never say when we're having a good day, "Lord, test me...right now...test me and my faith." So...maybe it's time we all get uncomfortable and really examine how we are going to change things so that we are fully reliant upon Christ!
