I don't know what I like best!

Man, this place is beautiful! Over the past week I've found something each day to set aside in my mind as something I found beautiful, so I thought I'd share them with you:
Watching a deer in the field at dusk
Taking a walk in the woods and feeling nothing but the warmth of the sun on your back
Seeing an old church that's standing alone and has been for years
Seeing a neighbor bring something over that they thought you'd like to have
Watching kids play in a nearby park, running through the water and laughing so hard you think they're cheeks must hurt
Driving down a lone highway and seeing the sun's rays beam through the clouds
Walking down a street in downtown Ann Arbor and smelling different flowers at every street corner.
On the way back to the house this afternoon I just stared out the window looking at the sun beaming through the clouds and noticing the contrast of the bright blue sky to the green corn stalks and thinking how beautiful it was. How great our God is, how beautiful his creation is and how blessed I am to share in it. This week I've had some firsts...first time seeing a ground hog, first time seeing a deer in my front yard, first time eating pizza from somewhere other than the common Dominoes, Hungry Howies, etc. First time visiting Ann Arbor and although I've enjoyed all of these things...there's some things I've had the chance to repeat...like taking a long drive with my dad while talking the whole way and reminiscing as I take in the smell of his coffee-smelling truck and realizing how long its been since we had one of "those" talks or caught up with an old friend and gone right back to the way it used to be, or sitting down with my family for a home cooked meal (man I miss those...one of the perks of living w/ your parents). No matter what it was I experienced this week, whether a "first" or a recurrence of a pasttime, I've enjoyed it all and can't wait to come back! Tomorrow we will leave and take our 16 hour drive back to Panama City...hopefully I will find things to enjoy in Panama City as much as I've enjoyed things in Ann Arbor, Chicago and just this house! Thought I'd share some pics of this past week~

A Day in the Windy City

A few weeks ago I when I decided to come to Michigan with my dad and stepmom, I went online to see how far away our town was from Chicago and after discovering it was about 3 hours away, I knew I'd have to go visit one of my dearest friends who lives there. As we approached the city this morning it was a dreary looking day, overcast yet still cool (in the low 60's). After arriving we walked around the Navy Pier for a while, then went to Millenium Park (along w/ several other parks), shopped, got ice cream, listened to a string quartet play in an ampitheater, rode a ferris wheel for the first time EVER and just spent the day sight-seeing and cathching up with each other. The day ended up in the low 80's and was full of sunshine! This is by far one of the best days...experiencing a new city with an old friend and taking everything in all at the same time. Here are some pics (there are more on my facebook). Enjoy!

In the middle of nowhere

After a 16 hour trip up to Michigan yesterday, we arrived just in time for a horrible storm. About 3 hours from Michigan the sky went from being beautifully painted with reds, blues and purples to producing a dark, eerie feel...that of which is usually followed up by a horrible storm and this was no different. After stopping to get some dinner, the rain started coming, winds started blowing and things started flying. The highway became filled with nothing but headlights and a mixture of water and wind passing with every car. After finally arriving, getting settled and letting the excitement from the long drive die down, I was finally able to fall fast asleep. This morning was spent enjoying a beautiful setting, (that which was much different from last night's), a cup of coffee and a nice walk around the property. We soon got in gear, took showers and then headed into "town" (by that I mean, 2 streets that intersect right in front of a Harley shop and a pub) for lunch. This place is so desolate yet peaceful. As we were walking through the property this morning my dad asked how I would describe it and as I began thinking of different one word adjectives, I then realized that walking back in the woods was a lot like walking through life. Sometimes, although people are around you, you feel alone. Sometimes, you come to a fork in the road and after taking a certain route, you realize halfway down it that it wasn't the best route. Sometimes the scenery (along w/ life) is peaceful, enjoyable and relaxing and sometimes its full of mud (my shoes got COVERED in it). In the end though, you probably wish you had taken it in more, done things differently but overall, hopefully enjoyed it! Anyways...after lunch we went and toured a little town that was so quaint and charming, followed by a drive through a nearby nursery that had a few lakes throughout it, swans and beautiful flowers. Once home, we rested, I caught up on some reading and enjoyed watching the deer walk across the front lawn as dusk came. This day was filled with exploring, relaxing and enjoying...just what I needed!

God is good...all the time!

Warning!!! This post is going to be all over the place. So…since there’s only about 3 of you that read this…I figure I can be pretty honest. The past 6 months have been a rollercoaster for me emotionally, but more recently the past month. I’ve questioned God a LOT lately…been downright honest with him about how I’m unhappy with the way things are going for me right now…and just been mad at life in general. However, I do realize I’m blessed beyond measure, there are still areas in my life I’m not happy with. Last night I went to our men’s softball game and as I was walking back to my car…it suddenly grew quite around me and I just gazed up at the stars and thought…God…how come this person I care so much about only looks out for what they want…they don’t consider me? How come I constantly put myself out there…yet get nothing in return? I’m always there for them…have always loved them and yet…its not appreciated or may not even be noticed. WHY GOD?!?! WHY?!? It was while walking back to my car that I began to cry and just pray. After a minute or so of that, I continued home and didn’t really think much more of it until it was time to go to bed. Recently I haven’t been sleeping well and its been taking me anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 HOURS to fall asleep b/c I can’t shut my mind off thinking about this person. Well, last night as I was lying in bed and just praying and crying I became aware of something. All those questions I had asked God earlier in the night are the SAME questions God probably asks about me. “Megan…I’ve always loved you…why aren’t you seeking my will and my kingdom? Megan…I’ve always considered you, yet you chose when to consider me. Megan, I’ve always put myself out there, always cared for you, yet you pick when it’s convenient for you.” I suddenly realized…I’ve been selfish, I’ve been judgmental, I’ve been lacking in showing God how much I love him and I’ve only cared about what God’s going to do in my life…not what I can do in my life FOR God. Yet God loves me anyways and always will. Gosh…I just began to cry even more, ask for forgiveness and just pray “God…I’m so sorry…here I am getting mad at someone else…yet all along you’ve been questioning where I’ve been too, yet I’m about to give up on this person b/c they aren’t caring or reciprocating my love and you CONTINUE to love me for who I am…whether I reciprocate my love to you or not!!! Your mercy is so great and so powerful…God you are always patient with us and are always faithful…even when we are faithless. Thank you God for your never-ending love! All this to say what an amazing God we serve!!! Today is a new day, a new start and a new opportunity to show God how much I love him!

Its not the end, rather the beginning

Last night, along with some good friends and the youth pastor from my church, I attended Mosley High School's graduation ceremony. From before the graduates took their seats to walking out the gates at the end, I was consumed with thoughts of the past. I remember standing and waiting to take my seat and feeling anxious yet the happiest I've ever felt...knowing everyone I care about is there watching me take this next step and begin this new chapter in my life. I've never felt more supported, loved and excited then I did that night. One of the students last night said that high school is supposed to be the best time of your life and although I used to agree with that statement, I'm not so sure I do anymore. Life isn't about remembering those good times, but making every moment good and appreciating what you've been blessed with, what you've overcome and those that you have loved and that have loved you along the way. In the beginning of the ceremony I kept reflecting on my high school years and wishing life was as fun as it was then, but then I realized...it is!! I can honestly say that my life isn't anything how I thought it would be at 23...I mean, I thought I'd be engaged or married, have graduated from college and have the job of my dreams (which, 5 years ago was being a teacher). However, its quite the opposite...I'm still single, still in school, majoring in something completely different and I live by myself and although I've struggled with reality in these past 5 years, I don't think I would want my life any different then how it is. In these past 5 years, I've dealt with the loss of loved ones, heartbreak, loving someone, making TONS of new friends (some of the greatest I've ever had), grown further in my relationship with the Lord, and have recently been able to embrace all of that and be thankful that my life isn't comparable to anyone else's (even though I've tried to compare it, time and time again)! Last night, I realized that although some of those "good times" are gone, its now time to create new ones and not only look forward to what's to come but live in the here and now, not looking back and focusing on making MY dreams come true...even if they are completely different then they were 5 years ago.